Mad Men Recap While Drunk 05×10 “Christmas Waltz”

I watch Mad Men and drink and write recaps that only make sense if you’ve already seen this particular episode. I missed last week and I apologize, I received one tweet and one text decrying my lack of a recap and that actually made me happy you guys (specifically two of you) care.

I’m not drinking tonight because I have crazy sunburn and drinking liquor is not going to help the insanity that is my pain right now.

Can you tell where the strap on my flip flops was?

Lane is going to prison? For taxes? Another reason to dislike Canada England.

Everything that trickles out of Harry’s mouth sounds whiney and douchey. Like he’s the type of guy who would say, “If I only was born five years later I would have had SO MUCH sex in college.”

Jaguar may be coming back, good job Pete.

OK. This is fucking insane, let’s roll it back a bit: Paul calls up Harry for coffee. Harry shows up and Paul is a Hari Krishner and no, I’m not going to figure out how to correctly spell that. Harry is dismissive as he should be but then there’s this hot chick constantly singing “Hari Krishner. Krishner Krishner” into Harry’s ear and he’s totally into it.

Lane is going to fuck the company up something fierce by basically stealing $50,000 and then just giving out bonuses to everyone. He’s pulling a Jamie Dimon and I’m sure that reference is 100% incorrect.

Remember when Banana Republic had a clothing line inspired by Mad Men? Why couldn’t they have stuff like this.

 Joan has large breasts.

Harry has been chanting for hours and didn’t realize it. This happens to me all the time but I call it, “Being on the Internet.” And now Paul wants a job? So he can bang LACMA? I think, I was focused on my foot pain for a minute there.

“The Negron Complex” by Paul…a spec script for Star Trek. This whole episode is on some weird bent that I can’t quite understand but I’m laughing, unsure if I’m suppose to be laughing at the absurdity or laughing cause it’s suppose to be funny.

Lane is doing some Catch Me If You Can shit but you ain’t Jack from Titanic ole Laney.

Don doesn’t do any work. That somehow depresses me.

“Because you’re an idiot!” I really want to say this to ten different people a day. It’s nice to see Joan, who has large breasts, lose her mind once in awhile, she keeps everything so pent up. It’s cool to see Don be nice to someone and seemingly not want anything in return.

LACMA is going to see Harry and if Harry ends up failing for this trick’s games, then he’s an idiot. Oh, he pushed her away. Good start. Also, someone saying, “I’m burning for you,” makes me think of sexually transmitted diseases and not horniness. Oh, he’s doing her doggie-style. Bad ending.

Hey ladies, doesn’t Harry’s face scream “sex” and “totally in charge” and “durrrrrrrrr?”

“The only sin she’s committed is being familiar” is a great line of dialogue. Joan is great. And a great DJ apparently.

So LACMA bangs Harry so he’ll tell Paul that his script is awful. It makes total sense. SLAP!

Don hate lamp. Megan throws plate. I want to throw plates but I’m too lazy to buy new plates. I understand Megan’s anger and am surprised it didn’t lead to a weird sex thing but it’s nice to see Don be a bit civil and just take it cause he was being a dick (not literally, Dick Whitman is a solid bro) and never does work.

Harry can’t be mean and his story makes absolutely no sense but I love the heart in giving him $500 and a ton of fake hope to Paul, who will absolutely OD in the late 60s in LA.

Don is great at giving rousing speeches. When I get married, I will hire him to just constantly give toasts. I understand he’s a fictional character and Jon Hamm does not actually write anything but when a good looking man in his forties in a well-tailored suit is talking, everyone listens.  See: Coach Taylor from Friday Night Lights and every Harrison Ford movie.

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8 Responses to Mad Men Recap While Drunk 05×10 “Christmas Waltz”

  1. Jeannie says:

    I love your recaps! Please keep them coming. I watch Mad Men while drinking, too, and then always check your blog for your witty comments :-)

  2. Lindsay says:

    I missed you last week too! I love your recaps, especially when you talk about Sally Draper, who I also admire.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for that lovely photo of your feet….and for the recap. WELCOME BACK!

  4. Jeannie says:

    please Please PLEASE tell me there will be a recap of this week’s ep! I don’t see it yet, perhaps due to the long Holiday Weekend? Perhaps you are out of town doing something fabulous, but the rest of us on “staycations” want – change that to NEED – your latest recap!

  5. Pingback: Mad Men Recap While Drunk 05×11 “The Other Woman” |

  6. Pingback: Mad Men Recap While Drunk 05×11 “The Other Woman” |

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